2009 Reflections & 2010 New Years Resolutions
New Year – New Beginnings, I’ve never put down in words any New Years Resolutions in the past and figured what the heck – perhaps its time to start so it gives me a place to look back to Next Year in order to see the progress I’ve made in my journey through this life of mine and re-evaluate my life every year and where I want to be.
2009 was probably the most stable one for me emotionally & mentally that I have ever experienced in all of my adult years. Even though I have faced many tough times, tough decisions and roadblocks – I managed to make it without any deep bouts of depression that I have experienced in the past. No need for anti-depressants that I have always hated but never seemed to manage to live without for any extended length of time until now.
January 2009 brought the news that my daughter’s cancer that had been found near the end of 2008 had spread to her blood, lymph nodes, bone & lungs. After almost 1 year of worry we finally received the fantastic news that she was in remission. Words I hope we continue to hear year after year as she goes back in for check ups.
May 2009 marked my 1 year anniversary in a job, working for someone else – Something I’d never accomplished before in my life actually as I usually would get fed up and quit for various reasons. 2 months later I did in fact walk out of the job, because during those 2 months I suddenly lost the boss I loved as she was transferred to another store and I had to train my new boss and I was absolutely bloody miserable. An underling should NEVER EVER have to train the boss to do the job.
Luckily for me though, the big boss understood and saw it coming, she knew I was miserable and after talking to her the day after I walked, she extended me an offer to return if I ever wanted to whether it be in a few weeks or few months down the road. 5 weeks after I walked out, I did indeed return to the job on a part time basis because I missed the social aspects of the job. So now I work for a bit of extra money, exercise and social times and spend the rest of the time rebuilding my own home business, which is going slowly but improving each month at a fairly steady pace. Considering the financial state of the U.S. right now, the fact that is improving is a good sign in my book that I’m doing the right things.
I reconnected with a few old friends in 2009, its nice to have them back in my life again. I missed them.
End of Dec 2009, and once again faced with a very hard decision – the one that puts me back in the ranks of being a single lady once again. I will forever be grateful to the man who helped me get back on my feet again after losing Chris and everything I owned but it is time to part ways. I have changed, grown and moved forward in my life and unfortunately he seems to be in the same place he was when we met 3 years ago – our co-existence together has become stressed, where there once was friendship and working together, has become constant fighting and distance with neither one of us happy living here together. So I end 2009 with sadness and a mixture of many other feelings but know that for me, it was the only choice I could make.
My goals for 2010:
1. Triple my current income with my own business and continue to work 2-3 days a week at the job as part of the team there.
2. Lose a minimum of 50 lbs – really need to lose more but I think 50 is a realistic start
3. To smile and laugh daily to keep my spirits high and my demons at bay
4. To continue to reach out to others and be able to inspire them to reach greater heights in their own lives, regardless of what obstacles stand in their way.
5. Quit Smoking, my lungs are killing me literally!
6. To continue strengthening the bond with my children & family as they have and will always be my reason for being.