The Last 6 Weeks!
I was surprised to see tonight that i hadn’t written anything in 6 weeks. Then of course I had to think back as to what has been going on over the last 6 weeks that kept me from posting my thoughts here. Basically its because I once again had lost my equilibrium in my life. I let myself become too emotionally involved with a few friends and then spent a whole lot of time trying to escape from the current reality. I cut ties with my family because I can no longer deal with some of them and their inability to be supportive of me and my kids. Stuff at work that I wasn’t handling well, I don’t always handle changes well.
On the plus side during the last 6 weeks, I was able to start some of the renovations inside my home that i have been wanting for a long time. My bedroom was painted and the hallway. Next will be my daughters room and family room. Every room in my home was the old 70′s dark wood paneling and I absolutely hated it. It’s amazing what a coat of paint can do to make everything a much nicer place to live in. My bedroom is now a very pale shade of blue and compliments my dresser, night stand and bedding nicely. I finally went out and bought some room darkening curtains to cover the windows and its making a huge difference in my sleeping during the day time hours. Living in a 3rd shift world can be tough sometimes and getting proper sleep has been a huge issue for me.
The hallway is a cream/off white color and its amazing how bright it is during the day now. I keep going to check to see if I forgot to turn the lights off!! Its still weird to see it appear so bright during the day. My daughter and I both had ceiling fans installed in our rooms, the bedrooms have much lower ceilings than the rest of the house so…. no tall people allowed or you might get the top of your head chopped off by the blades but she and I are short so all is good for us! The ceiling fan will also help with my sleep issues now that we are just entering the best of summer’s weather and i don’t have air conditioning in my bedroom.
The colors for the next 2 rooms are still to be decided. In the fall I will do the kitchen and dining/office area and then all of the dark depressing paneling will be gone. After that I will save up to have all new floors installed as it desperately needs it and then bathroom renovation.
I’ve continued to lose weight over the last 6 weeks and am now up to a total of 33 lbs lost. I’m walking 3-5 miles daily, still working out with my weights and other misc items that I bought along the way.
I’m finding it harder and harder to spend time on the computer. I want to be moving and doing things whether its work or play doesn’t make much difference. I’m just tired of the old life that was my life since about 1993 – non-stop computer, building websites, taking care of kids and significant others and sleep.
My youngest daughter graduated from High School last week and soon will be flying the coop except for school breaks of course.
I look forward to living alone for the first time in my life. I’m sure at times I will miss having someone around but I also can’t wait for the days where I can do what i want in my own home 24 hours a day without having to worry about someone else all the time and what they need or want. No more bloody messes for me to clean up that either I or my cats didn’t make. Maybe I’m selfish but I just don’t care anymore. I’ve paid my dues, I’ve sacrificed much in my life for the benefit of others. Its time for me now.