Day by day I feel myself strengthening now, the decisions made for the next path I have chosen to take in my life. It is amazing how empowering making decisions to take back full control of your life can be. Releasing myself bit by bit from the self imposed bondage I had put myself under [...]
In 1979 I was in 9th grade, the year Kermit made popular the song The Rainbow Connection from The Muppet Movie. I immediately fell in love with the song. It is one of those songs that gave me hope – that someday I would find what I was looking for.
1979 was a year filled [...]
At school I continued with the pattern of skipping classes, caught smoking and drinking in school and getting after school detentions for my punishment which of course I would skip out of also, which in turn would result in me getting thrown into in-school suspension for days on end. I loved the in-school suspension because [...]
When I was 15 years, I met a man who befriended me, that profoundly impacted my life and was my lifeline to getting through the rest of my high school years. He moved in down the road from me into a house that I used to babysit some little kids at. He was going through [...]
I went to church every Sunday, the only one in the family that did after awhile. My Sister had grown up and moved out, My Brother pretty much quit going after he went through the required Confirmation in 9th grade and my parents square danced every Saturday Night and returned home pretty late — Mom [...]
Where does a child go when the family and medical community lets her down? When she doesn’t know how to trust anymore? Doesn’t know WHO to Trust? But is slowly drowning in emotions that she is ill equipped to deal with and dying inside and SCREAMING for help? She (Me in this case) turns to [...]
Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Berthold Auerbach
7 years of secrets and silence and pent up emotions. 7 years of alienation from family, friends and peers because of the deep secrets she was told to keep. Big changes happening, Jr High School, A changing body, raging hormones and more [...]
For almost 38 years I have kept my secrets, maintained the wall of silence for the benefit of everyone else in the family. I had a friend suggest today that I shouldn’t be doing this, that I might hurt someone else by telling my secrets. I might shatter their illusions of the man my grandfather [...]
Grandpa’s Girl
2 words used together that always make me cringe. It’s what the family called me. Awww isn’t that sweet, she’s sitting on Grandpa’s lap again, while he brushes her hair, never seeing or realizing what was happening in his pants. Look how thoughtful she is, bringing Grandpa his beer, going on walks with him [...]
As touched upon in a prior posting, music has always been a constant in my life. A way to express how I was feeling when I didn’t have the the words or ability to say it myself. At 5 years of age, I started playing violin and took lessons at the Eastman School of Music [...]